Letters From A War
by Magery
Summary: In which Eren obtains Annie's phone number, and—within the space of twelve hours—manages to convince her to have lunch with him the next day. A story mostly told by the transcripts of text messages, bad jokes, and, in the end, a strategically-applied pillow to the face. University AU.


**To:** Annie

**From:** +61487572651

Hey Annie, it's Eren!

'Sup?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Jaeger.

How the hell did you get my phone number.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

Mina gave it to me! =D

You didn't answer my question, by the way.

P.S are we still on for sparring tonight?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

I will kill her.

No. I didn't.

Will you go away if I say no?

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

But then who will help you hide the body?

Annnnniiieeeeeeeeeeeee.

Don't say things like that - you're making me think you don't like me!

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

What.

Yes?

Good. Because I don't.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

...you know, that thing that's like "Friends will try to talk you out of killing someone. Best friends will help you hide the body." or whatever.

What are you doing?

And yet you're texting me back.

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

I don't have friends.

Waiting for you to go away.

Yes.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

Yes you do. What about Mina, Reiner, Berthold, Mikasa if you count rivals, and Armin? They're your friends! And I'm your friend too!

Well, you're going to be waiting a long time then XD

That doesn't make any sense, Annie.

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

You're annoying, that's what you are.

...

Yes it does. You're just an idiot.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

And yet you regularly skip your BIOL lectures to hang out with me.

What?

Is this some girl thing I'm never going to understand?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

They are slightly more annoying than you are.

You have a lecture on now. Pay attention and leave me alone.

Yes.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

See? I knew you cared!

...how do you know that?

Then explain it? Come on, Annie, help me out here!

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

I stopped caring at age 3.

Because you're loud.

Your pain amuses me, so no.

* * *

**To: **Annie

**From:** Eren

Wait, wait, wait a minute... I swear I've seen that phrase before.

What does that have to do with anything?

You're a sadist. You know that, right?

* * *

**To: **Armin

**From: **Eren

Hey, Armin, does "I stopped caring at age 3." ring any bells for you?

* * *

**To: **Eren

**From: **Annie

Right.

I could hear you telling Armin your schedule from the other side of campus.

I'm just a fragile little girl.

* * *

**To: **Eren

**From: **Armin

Uh... I think I reblogged something similar on tumblr when you were at my apartment yesterday?

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

Do you have a tumblr?

...so you were listening for the sound of my voice? XD

Yeah, and I'm Mikasa.

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

What? No.

When we spar tonight, I will punch you in the throat.

What are you doing with Jaeger's phone, Ackerman?

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

You do, don't you!

So we are on for tonight. Took you long enough to answer =P

HOLY SINA ANNIE MADE A JOKE.

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Shut up, I don't.

Fuck off, Jaeger.

And?

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

I should tell Armin. Maybe he could find yours for me.

You know, some days I think Connie's right when he calls you a tsundere.

Annie, are you OK? So, Annie, are you OK? XD

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

No. You shouldn't. Because I don't have one.

Springer is even more of an idiot than you are.

SHUT UP WITH THAT FUCKING SONG ALREADY.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

So what's your URL then?

Aaw, I feel so flattered.

But your reactions are hilarious!

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

I DON'T HAVE A TUMBLR.

No, I was wrong, you are the greater idiot.

I will kill you.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

Then why did you use that quote?

Of course I'm great! I'm Eren Jaeger!

...so basically you'd become a Smooth Criminal?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Mina has a tumblr. And I have eyes.

I don't know why Ackerman hasn't murdered you yet. I hope she snaps soon.

A quantum supercomputer, calculating for a thousand years, could not begin to approach how much I hate you right now.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

Oh. That makes sense.

You'd miss me if she did, wouldn't you?

No. No way. Is this a Sword Art Online Abridged Series reference I see before me?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Of course it does.

I never miss.

...fuck.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

I bet you're like me. You sometimes think about getting one, but never go through with it.

And you yell at me for over-using jokes?

I never picked you for liking anime. What else do you watch?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

I could never be like you.

That's because they weren't funny the first time.

You won't leave me alone until I tell you, will you?

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

That wasn't a denial =P

Are you kidding me? I'm hilarious!

Well, duh.

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

No. It wasn't.

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

...fine. Code Geass, Death Note, Bleach, Black Rock Shooter, RWBY, and Attack on Titan.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

Sorry if this seems like a random tangent, but you're pretty honest, aren't you?

I'd like your help sleeping at night ~.0

You know, I've watched all of those, too. Did Reiner introduce you?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Lies are easy. Life is hard.

...I don't know how to react to that.

I introduced him.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

I wouldn't quite put it that way, but I can't say I disagree.

A simple yes would suffice =P

Huh. Really? That's awesome XD

P.S I'm on my way to the dojo now.

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Maybe you're not a complete idiot, then.

I think I will give my response in person.

I'm already there.

* * *

In another universe, the first thing Annie would have said to Eren when he arrived would have been "Solarplexussayswhat?"

In this one, she just punched him there instead.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

So to be less of an idiot I just have to agree with you?

You didn't have to make it so fucking painful!

I had fun, y'know. Did you?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Yes.

I've hit you harder than that.

You are an adequate sparring partner.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

But what if you're wrong?

Yeah, but that's when I'm expecting it!

Thank you, I think?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

If.

That was another lesson. Not every blow is one you see coming.

You're welcome.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

*Sigh* I'll never win this, will I?

You should sell fortune cookies.

Hey, while I remember, do you want to get lunch tomorrow?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

You are a hundred years too early to be able to beat me.

Why?

I want to get lunch every day.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

Seriously, Annie? SERIOUSLY?

You are a veritable font of small wisdoms.

...you know what I meant.

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Yes.

How do you ever know words like that?

Why?

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

I will never understand you.

Ouch. Also, blame Armin. He had two things as a kid: a love of reading, and irresistible puppy-dog eyes.

Because you've been teaching me for three months and I haven't done anything for you in return. So I owe you at least lunch.

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Good.

I have no trouble believing that.

...okay. I have a break from 1300 to 1400.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

I swear, your superhero name would probably be Miss Terious.

Considering you mixed him up with Krista at one point, I'm not surprised =P

So do I =D Also, why do you use 24-hour time?

* * *

**To:** Armin; Mikasa

**From:** Eren

Annie agreed to have lunch with me!

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Armin

Nice work!

* * *

"Eren!" Mikasa yelled. "I am _literally downstairs_. You could have just told me in person. Anyway, I'm still not quite sure what you see in her, but congratulations!"

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

That is the worst joke I have ever seen.

What do you mean?

Because I do.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

You know you laughed at it.

Krista is basically the human equivalent of a puppy.

Annnniiee, tell me!

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

It was a chuckle of disbelief at how bad it was.

Don't tell Ymir that.

Why do you want to know?

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

Whatever helps you sleep at night. XD

Why not?

Because you're interesting, and I want to know you better.

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

I am not going to dignify that with a response.

Do you really want me to explain?

...ask me tomorrow.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

But you just did?

Of course I do!

Okay, I will =D

* * *

**To: **Eren

**From:** Annie

To point out how juvenile you were being, idiot.

Fine. Imagine all the doggy-style jokes.

Where are we getting lunch?

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

*Sigh* Yes, mistress.

Firstly, how would that even work, and secondly, you have a terribly dirty mind =P

I don't know. I was going to let you decide, since I don't know what you like to eat.

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Good. You're learning.

You're the one asking me about the finer points of lesbian sex.

Okay. Meet me outside your lecture hall.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

Should have known you liked to be in control =P

Why do you even know about the finer points of lesbian sex?

...you know what lecture I have on, and where it is?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Fuck off.

Why shouldn't I?

Yes.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

Kinky.

Are you a lesbian?

Why? How?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

You must hate your solar plexus.

No. Would it matter?

I told you before. You're loud.

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

I think it hates you.

Of course not. I just didn't think you were.

...you've been stalking me, haven't you?

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

It's not my fault you're an idiot.

Okay.

No. Why would I do that?

* * *

**To:** Annie

**From:** Eren

Well, this idiot is tired and has an early lecture tomorrow, so I'm going to bed.

Goodnight!

* * *

**To:** Eren

**From:** Annie

Night.

* * *

"Hey, Annie, who were you texting? I've never seen you use your phone so much," Mina asked.

"Nobody," Annie said as she moved into the bathroom. When she came out a few minutes later, Mina had taken Annie's phone from where she'd left it on her bedside table, and was currently reading something on it - something that made her grin, wild and madly amused.

"No fricking way. You spent your whole day texting _Eren_? That is so cute! And to think I only gave him your number today - yet you're already going on a date tomorrow. That kid has _game_."

"Mina," Annie said, her fists not quite clenching, "if you do not give me my phone back right now, I will tell Arlert your tumblr username, and who has been sending him all those anonymous compliments."

Mina's face was the picture of betrayal. "You _wouldn't_."

Annie's only response was to hold out her arm, palm up.

Grudgingly, Mina sighed, and placed the phone in her best friend's hand, though she couldn't resist a parting shot.

"Well, at least now I know why you're always so eager to spar with him, eh? All that full-body contact—"

The rest of what she had been going to say was cut off by the strategic application of blunt trauma to the cranium.

Otherwise known as a pillow to the face.

* * *

**I've never written one of these before. Was it worth reading?**

**Yes, Eren, Annie, and the rest of the cast live in Australia (my phone gives the area codes of new numbers until I add them to my contacts, so that's what Annie's does). You're welcome to come here and try and take them away =P**

**Also, yes, they all text in full sentences - because I do, and because I could never write an entire story in text-speak. My brain would _die_.**

**Oh, and in case anyone didn't notice, yes, Annie refers to Eren as 'Jaeger', but saves him in her phone as Eren. I assure you there are reasons for that; I think the 'text' of the story more-than-hints at them. **


End file.
